My ex husband called me the other day, he wanted to tell me that he and his wife were coming to my son’s graduation, IF they could come up with the gas money. He then proceeded to tell me how it “just killed him not to be able to see my son play baseball this year”. Stop! Just stop! Stop talking. You can’t spew your bullshit to me. You didn’t even show up to games when you didn’t live 300 miles away. I was there, I was married to you for 10 years. I’m the one that picked up the pieces when you stopped paying child support and then moved out of state. I’m the one that made sure kids got where they needed to be even when they were going in completely opposite directions at the same time. When it meant that my day started at 5 am and didn’t end until 11 pm. Through the cold and heat at football and baseball games, through the boredom at award ceremonies and band concerts, through the many, many miles driven to practice and games, to and from school, and friends houses and doctor’s appointments and ER visits. Through the exhaustion. I did that. Not you. These are MY kids.
I have no problem with people being divorced. I don’t even have a problem with divorced parents who don’t play the whole “we do everything together for the benefit of our child(ren)” game. (See my blog Co-Parenting for my feelings on this) What I do have a problem with is absentee parents. A more appropriate word would be despise. I despise these people. More precisely I despise absentee parents who boast about their kids accomplishments like they had something to do with it. More than that, I despise the absentee parents who accept compliments on their parenting skills when they don’t have any skills. (I may have a slight issue here – that’s a lot of hate going on LOL)
So to all you parents that only come out of the woodwork when your kid is excelling at something, STOP. Just stop. Be proud, but don’t you dare try to take credit for any of it. You keep that between you and the kid. Tell them you are proud of them, but don’t you dare claim it. Because for every person you can fool with your beaming smile and lies, there are five more who were down in the trenches with the parent that was there for all of those things. Hell, they probably have more claim to that kid than you do. They know the truth. And one day down the road, when it matters, those kids will know the truth also. They will know who was there supporting them. They will know who made sacrifices. And they will know who made excuses.